You know you've lived in Hanoi too long if...

I have lived in Hanoi for 1 year, 7 months, and 2 weeks. And though I am far from being "just like a Vietnamese person" as many people attempt to praise me, I nevertheless have reached a degree of assimilation. Here are some of the indications that you've lived in Hanoi long enough for things to sink in:

• You casually say things like "Today I was riding my xe đạp and decided to stop at this one tea stand in my ngõ and got lots of xinh đẹps from the lady there. Then a xe máy almost ran into me." (credit: Calah Schlabach)

• You can cross a shoe checkpoint without even breaking stride.

• An alarming proportion of your personal items are decorated with chubby animals, and/or something monstrous is dangling from your cell phone.

"Fu female"

• 20-degree weather causes you to dress like this (because you know those cement walls and floors were not designed to keep you warm).

• "The Lake" means Hoàn Kiếm Lake.

• When you go out to eat, you look for the smallest plastic chairs possible (because everyone knows the size of the chairs is inversely proportionate to the deliciousness of the food).

 

• Alternately, you choose your restaurant solely based on how funny the name sounds. 

Highschool Restaurant Teeny Pizza actually sells teeny pizzas!!!!

• You find yourself asking things like "How old are you?" "Are you married?" "How much did you pay for that?" of people you only just met.